My marriage story

It seems I have always loved Jason Kyle Von Meding. I can barely remember a time when that name did not cause my heart to skip a beat. As I write this I'm smiling to myself because I can see his face smiling at me in my mind's eye. It warms my heart and I feel I love him more now than ever before!

It was 17 years ago when we met, it was in that precious 3 month period when we are both the same age - before one of us becomes older than the other (I'll not say who!) We were 14 years old and the first thing I whispered to my friend when I saw him was, "he's gorgeous! I'm gonna marry him!" As God would have it, I had met his beautiful sister a year before and as we two got reacquainted she told me that boy I had my eye on was her brother. It was a long wait of 7 years before Rebecca's matchmaking resulted in our marriage!

Of course there are many stories I have skipped in between those years, of growing up together, of living as if the world was against us, of being told we were too young to know if we were right for one another. There was a lot of teenage angst mixed with real emotional and spiritual breakthrough and growth. We felt we were grown up enough when we got married at 21 (and 22, as one of us had just had their birthday) so it amused me greatly to find an old journal of mine in which I wrote about our preparation for marriage. I wrote like I did as a teenager! My mum dropped by the next day and I remarked to her, "we were children when we got married!!" She laughingly replied, "yes, I know!" I hope as a parent now myself, I will know when to loosen the reins and let go of my children when, God willing, they allow Him to steer them to the spouse He has planned for them.

My marriage is not perfect, I'm not sure whose is. Occasionally we won't see eye to eye. We get tired. We get frustrated with each other, but early on in our lives together I decided to never go to bed without being reconciled to him. We have had some very late nights after he has given up trying to sleep because I refuse to stop talking until we are friends again! We have been entrusted by God with the care of our four precious babies (already a clue I'll find it hard to loosen ties, given that the eldest 'baby' is now seven!) I can honestly say my description of our lives together is not leaving a gaping hole filled with all the negative stuff we're not supposed to share. Why am I telling you all this? Does it sound as if I am boasting? I really hope not. My point is that in all these experiences we have shared together along this road, God was and is and will continue to be the instigator, navigator and protector of our hearts, joined together. He has been given centre place, in the place of highest honour and our most treasured friend, our guide and our heavenly Father. He laid down the model of marriage between one man and one woman and He chooses to bless those who honour Him in it.

If I am honest with you, I don't know why God extended His Grace towards us. Even when we were not wholeheartedly pursuing Him, He was there. As we struggled through immaturity, we made decisions and took actions we would change now from the clearer position hindsight reveals. We fought together against a step father, to whom we are now fully reconciled - Praise God. We wept together trying to make sense of the real tragedy of loss and feel the aching absence still of Jay's earthly father. A precious man who has been in Glory some 23 years now.

Through the births of our children and nieces and a nephew, through the loss of our siblings' children, born too soon. Watching my father, my first hero, learning how to function as a man gradually losing his sight. Through saying goodbye to dear Grandparents. Through happiness and joy, through heart ache and heart break - God continues to abide in us and through us. He tenderly leads us. He seems to delight in our desire to know Him more. I have been easily distracted by circumstance. I have been easily distracted, period. I was floored, literally dropping to the floor and weeping this week as I felt God say, "I know about these people you are bringing to me, I want you to bring yourself to me!" God is interested in me! God is interested in you! I applaud you if you have read this far. It seems I have a lot to say about my three loves. My God, my husband and the family we three share.