Walking the race

I remember one day, in my teenage years when my dad gifted me with some knowledge about myself. I laughed at his observation because it didn't seem like a compliment to be called 'a plodder!' Seeing my confusion he clarified and said something like this, "when others run ahead into things you are consistent and just keep going." I think he said something about having a quiet confidence and after that, I was satisfied he hadn't just insulted me! :)

My teenage years have been long left behind me but here I am at 32 years old, 37+ weeks pregnant, still plodding along - currently walking the treadmill because my actual running days have left me for a while too. 16 years after that conversation and I am still encouraged by my dad taking the time to share his thoughts with me. All these years later I am still walking the race and I'm ok with that. 'Slow and steady....,' I've got the slow bit down, but the steady doesn't come to me naturally. Being blessed with a currently over active and somewhat overwhelmed set of emotions I find I need to seek out refuge in the storm. Too often these nights and mornings I find myself awake in the wee hours, every time running back in the arms of my Heavenly Father. 

I still have questions unresolved. I'm not into blind faith. Eyes to see, ears to hear and patience to be taught and grow in understanding are what I long for. I'm pretty sure I left most of my stupid complex back on the graduating stage with my nursing degree in hand and 10 years of carrying that word around my neck, on the floor behind me. Still, I cannot compare any facts or head knowledge I may or may not possess to the incomparable knowledge and wisdom of the creator of heaven and earth, made available to us if we just ask. James 1 :5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

In the arms of my Father, my doubts and fears and hurts and uncertainties are exchanged for the indescribable peace, comfort and joy that I cannot provide myself. It is there I will renew my strength, because I am weary, and head into the storm again.

I look up toward the hills.
From where does my help come?
² My help comes from the Lord,
the Creator of heaven and earth! As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. 

Psalm 121:1-2, Psalm 71:14